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Big Bang with VolksWorld Camper & Bus Show 2010 @ Santa Pod:

23rd - 25th April...

Well where do we start? The first show of the year bought with it the always joyful (and usually eventful!) trip up to Santa Pod for Big Bang. 7am saw Joyuss and me heading down to the convoy meeting point shared with PKW at Broadcut Sainsburys. A healthy full English breakfast followed by a few Red Bulls and we were ready to get going.

After a total of 8minutes on the M27 I bottled out of being at the back of the convoy pack as we managed a staggering 35mph past the slipway at Segensworth and I had a coach so close behind me I could see every single dead fly on the front of its bumper!

With only a quick stop at Tot Hill we got to the Pod nice and early in the day, and with the sun blazing in the sky and no wind or cloud to talk of we set about getting the gazebo up for the very first time. This task proved to be a little more complex than we had anticipated and soon I found myself making a dash for the instructions (Which by this point had already been covered in beer!). Finally after a couple of minutes working on our erection problems (hehe) the “Gayzeebo” was setup along with the gas bbq. A quick trip off to the local Tesco ensued as aside from Paul and Kat no one else actually bothered to go shopping before hand. 

4pm soon came and we all went out on mass for a group scout of the event to see what the score was with traders and displays. Out on the track was some fantastic electric powered cars showing that Zero Emission Racing could well be a big draw in the future. There were plenty of traders including all the usual clothing and parts dealers as well as a fair amount of Auto Jumble stands with some early bargains already being had. 

Just before our first bbq of the weekend Jog and his son turned up in his lovely Green and Cream Splittie. After a good bit of food and more than a beers we moved into the Gayzeebo as a unit and the conversation rapidly deteriorated (mainly thanks to me) and the strangeness of the tangents just seemed to add to the funny atmosphere and the natural outpouring of funny stories and painful injuries people have sustained over the years, be it form working on Dubs or dicking about on bikes. Later on we opted to go for a little walk to see what was going on around the site entertainment wise, which actually consisted of people arsing around on the Dodgems and then wandering round to the Fuellers Bar to watch some ropey looking birds breathing fire and using grinders on their metal covered bra and pants. While it promised to be a good show from just that mental image it really wasn’t that great to be perfectly honest!

Saturday morning bought with it yet more sunshine and  some serious in-tent heat by 7am. After a good hearty breakfast with a combined total somewhere in the region of 6 packs of bacon and 18 sausages it was off to the Auto Jumble again to see if any new bargains had appeared. Joyuss managed to pick up some spare quarter-light parts for a bargain and I managed to bag myself a nice Bat-Wing steering wheel that needed a little bit of TLC but was a good project to keep me busy! After getting myself a new pair of shorts to cope with the now blazing heat we all converged onto the grassy bank to enjoy some quality racing. Unfortunately though as soon as we turned up 3 cars in a row managed to dump their engines all over the track so we saw a lot of the John Deere tractor and not much else for about 25minutes!

Saturday evening started off lazily with another cracking bbq and some random tunage provided by the Audi. After a few hours of music and random talking we again decided to venture out to the Fuellers Bar to have a look at the Lady GaGa tribute act, and it seemed that we were not the only people wanting to have an ogle and see if she was any good as the bar and outside marquee was absolutely packed! Lip-syncing and dodgy microphones aside it wasn’t the worst bit of entertainment I've seen at a show in recent years and it gave me a reason to shout wrong but humorous lyrics in time with the song. The chorus of “Get your cock out of the boys” that echoed thru the bar was hilarious to say the least!

The night bought with it perhaps the strangest thing I've seen in many a years at Pod with Chris “Rowland” Collins borrowing a camp bed to sleep on and then finding out that it doest quite fit in the tent, well I say not quite it didn’t fit at all! There was an easy 6” of overhang and the ability to close the door just totally disappeared (one of the fundamental parts of a tent you WANT to work!). Of course rather than collapse it down and be warm, Mr “I Don’t Feel The Cold” slept with his head out of the tent in the cool fresh night air! It really was a sight to behold and none of us had working cameras at the time to capture him in all his glory. To add to his comfortable night Joyuss took immense pleasure in shouting “ROWWWWWLAAANNDD!!!” at him every few minutes while Andy just enjoyed himself by telling everyone how lovely and warm his two sleeping bags were before donning a high pitch voice and telling everyone they were just shrimps/whitebait/prawns/cods/other sea based creatures. Another bizarre end to the night, something of a trademark for us all!

Sunday can be best described as starting overcast and hung-over! After a weekend of excess it was time for one last breakfast before everyone packed up for the day. With all tents packed away, the Gayzeebo down and bbq dismantled we headed off for a walk about one last time. As the sun came out the racing picked up so a few hours were whittled away in the stands watching some serious metal hammer down the strip, which, if you ask me, is the perfect ending to a quality weekend.

On the journey home the constant threat of rain was hanging over our heads and with a downpour bought an unplanned stop on the M1 to try and rectify a slight earth issue on Joys Oval that was leading to intermittent wipers. Back and rolling again and as we peeled onto the M25 I pulled out and passed the convoy to try and gain some lane presence, only to look in my mirror as I joined the main carriageway and see everyone quickly dive onto the hard shoulder. I decided to push on and head for home as we had 4 cars and the best mechanic in the convoy. Having spoken to everyone afterwards I learnt it was just a little glitch and they were soon back on their way, making it all the way to Fleet Services on the M3 before Fudge (Pauls now late 412) decided that enough jokes had been aimed at it over the weekend and emptied its gearbox contents over the inside lane in a final act of defiance.

A good weekend was had by all and our minds shifted to the next shows we would each be doing, be that Plymfest, Bug Jam or Action.

Take it easy. Ryster.

Attendees: (in no particular order) Ryster, Joyuss, Andyoldschool, Vdub Chris, Deluxe 54, Mrs Deluxe, Jog (and his son), Jamie (LowDownDirtyDubbers) and Rob (LowDownDirtyDubbers)

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